Havelock Scoop

A small wedge is missing from the grille. It gives my new car the giddy grin of a champion boxer whose front teeth were bashed out.

The faded silver paint is speckled with worn-in gunk that no car wash could remove. The right side sports two chrome hubcaps, but the left-side tires have no ornamentation.

I’m proud of the cracked leather seats and sagging roof. My car may not have a CD player — or more than one working speaker. But, it has character.

I bought the 1989 Buick Park Avenue for $600 cash. My friend had owned the aging sedan for about a year and wanted to sell it so he could buy a car from his father. Three weeks prior, my green Chrysler Concorde had sputtered to an unceremonious stop on the roadside, and my mechanics couldn’t revive the engine.

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The optimal duration for sexual intercourse is 3 to 13 minutes, according to a study that will be published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine next month. Click here to read the Associated Press story.

The 2005 survey of 1,500 couples concluded that 1 to 2 minutes of lovemaking wasn’t enough, but satisfactory sex takes anywhere between 3 and 13 minutes — not including foreplay — for the average couple.

Readers of Romenesko’s Obscure Store & Reading Room, the blog where I first saw this study, suggest that mainstream advertising is playing to our perceived inadequacies and giving people the misconception that good sex has to last for hours. What sayeth Havelock Scoop readers?

Jokesters and pranksters nationwide have their moment of glory today, and it seems like everyone’s getting in on the act.

Google announced today that it’s teaming up with Virgin to create “Virgle,” a human colony on Mars. Consumer rights blog The Consumerist adopted an anti-customer attitude and redubbed itself The Conglomerist.

Closer to home, the Beaufort Observer in Washington, N.C. is reporting that staunch Republican county commissioner Hood Richardson has defected to the “Dimocrat” Party (note the purposeful misspelling in their story).

At our sister paper, the Kinston Free Press, reporter Jon Dawson and content editor Charlie Kraebel are pushing for each other’s immediate ouster on their blogs.

What’s the best April Fool you’ve seen today? Has anyone successfully pulled your leg?

Hood Richardson, a Beaufort County commissioner who mounted an unsuccessful run for the N.C. General Assembly in 2006, has pleaded no contest to a disorderly conduct charge that resulted from his 2006 arrest for passing out campaign fliers during a high school football game, the Beaufort Observer reported.

A school board policy that prevents politicking on school grounds will now be enforced fairly, according to the story, but Richardson passed on a tremendous opportunity to fight for freedom of speech.

Political speech is among the most protected under the Constitution, and it doesn’t seem to me that there’s a First Amendment exemption for Friday night football. The Beaufort County ban on schoolhouse campaigning is wrongheaded and should be overturned.

Richardson had an opportunity to make that point in court recently. He didn’t.

We’re working on a story for Wednesday’s edition about gas price increases and how they affect both consumers and distributors. Based on the information I’ve received so far, mark-ups are minimal — gas stations are charging more, by and large, because they’re paying more.

How are the gas prices affecting you? Are you cutting back on non-essential travel? Carpooling to work, school or church? Let us know in the comments.

A Pennsylvania middle-school student has been punished for wearing a “Volunteer Homeland Security” T-shirt because it bears the image of a gun, according to the Associated Press.

The AP also reports this week that a Maryland school has banned T-shirts, bumper stickers and images of the Confederate battle flag after at least two students were suspended in a vaguely worded “outbreak of racial hostility.”

Does two students’ suspension really qualify as an “outbreak?” Shame on the AP for its imprecise and likely exaggerated description. An outright ban on a popular symbol after just two kids were suspended sounds a lot like overreaction to me.

Schools are only allowed to interfere with student speech when such speech or expression creates a “substantial and material disruption” of the educational process, the Supreme Court ruled in Tinker v. Des Moines Independent Community School District.

I wholeheartedly doubt the Tinker standard has been met in either school. If I’m right, then both administrations are guilty of unconstitutional censorship.

Consider this quote from Justice Abe Fortas in the Tinker case: “It can hardly be argued that either students or teachers shed their constitutional rights…at the schoolhouse gate.”

Music to my ears.

Is the new Wal-Mart Supercenter in Havelock charging more money for the same products sold at its sister store in New Bern? Havelock Scoop reader Clyde Shaeffer thinks so.

He wrote that a student desk sold at the New Bern store is $44.94, and an identical one in Havelock costs $49.99. A $49.99 chair in New Bern is $54.99 in Havelock, he said in a blog comment yesterday.

What are your observations about the new store? Are prices really higher here?

A Furniture Fair store in New Bern is threatening to sue a customer over fliers she’s passing out in a protest against the business, the Sun Journal reported today.

Tessie Adams is picketing the store because it refused to exchange furniture she said is warped and overworn, according to the story. The store has offered her a full refund, but is requiring her to return the furniture at her expense.

She’s not satisfied, so she decided to protest Furniture Fair by holding a picket sign and handing out fliers outside the Neuse Boulevard store. The company’s lawyer has written her a snotty cease-and-desist letter, claiming the fliers contain “false and damaging” information.

Because I haven’t seen the fliers, I can’t tell you whether the information is false, but I doubt sincerely that an angry customer’s constitutionally protected expression of opinion is legally actionable. This has a strong whiff of Goliath flexing his muscles to shut David up.

If Furniture Fair takes this dissatisfied customer to court, I’d boycott the store and encourage everyone I know to do the same. Whether or not the fliers are false, the road to resolution for this dispute shouldn’t run through a courtroom.

Today’s edition of the Havelock News features three stories on city transportation issues.

Residents of the North Harlowe and Cherry Branch communities got some good news, as the state Department of Transportation announced that a 13-mile stretch of N.C. 101 will be widened and resurfaced within the next year.

Traffic patterns have shifted since the recent removal of the Ketner Boulevard traffic signal, and at least one resident is so steamed that he or she posted a protest sign — which city officials quickly removed.

Havelock Scoop reader Andrew Callaway has applauded whomever’s responsible and offered to display the sign in front of his business.

Finally, a story details Havelock’s bid for a vote on the Super 70 Corridor Commission. The city currently pays $5,000 per year in membership fees, but doesn’t have a voice in the highway enhancement group’s decisions.

Time to fill out those brackets and pick the winners. Who will it be — UNC, Duke, Syracuse, Nebraska?

Try Comcast, US Airways, Bank of America or the Recording Industry Association of America.

Consumer rights blog The Consumerist is holding its second annual Worst Company in America contest. You can visit the site and vote for the worst business in daily match-ups (the first clash: Menu Foods vs. Comcast).

Which company elevates bad customer service to an art form? Make your choice, and feel free to share how you voted here on the Havelock Scoop.